Yes I'm being serious. Saturday I went with my host mother to swim at the pool in Alba. We go in the locker room, change and head out. Understanding each other is still difficult so we kind of just guess what the other one is saying all the time. What I was gathering from her, is that there are a bunch of lanes, some are for fast swimmers, medium and slow. As I approach the pool I see the majestic creatures on the other side, moving slowly as not to startle them. 3 splendidly gorgeous dark curly hair Italian men in animal pattern speedos are shaking the water out of their hair. Now I know they don't notice me at all, they aren't stunned by the beauty of my well-fed physique and rubber cap, so at this point I'm just finding the best places to watch them ( not in a stalker way, in an appreciative way) Me being the dum dum I decided I don't wanna look like a loser getting in the slow lane, but know I can't manage a fast lane swim. I find the medium lane with two old men in it so I don't have to worry about being self-conscious. Little did I know, these old men are in very good shape and easily swam twice as many laps as I did. I will use the excuse of the men in speedos in the other lane were distracting but in all actuality, I am just not in the physically conditioned state that they were. My host mom hoped in and also lapped me with no problem. Even though I am a prideful girl this didn't bother me because I kept thinking how funny life is me. I mean for Pete's sake I'm freaking in Italy swimming with some old guys looking like a dingus while quaking at the other guys in Speedos. I do believe this is the lesser known American dream. I did see more than my fair share of naked Italian women in the locker room before we left but hey, not everything can be dew drops and rose, or should I say wine drops
and gelato.
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